Independence

It’s official! I have two interviews for internships in Chicago, with more hopefully coming on the way.  It’s really eye-opening, and makes me realize that I’ve finally gotten to where I want to be.  I’m happy, but also terrified–but a good terrified.  It also makes me realize how independent I’ve had to become in order to get to this point.

There are some people in the world who aren’t able to do things on their own.  One example of this are the girls who can’t go a couple weeks without a boyfriend.  Safe to say, I’ve been single most of my life–something that some people can’t handle.  However, it’s made me realize that I’ve been able to get through all the difficult times in my life with a strong head on my shoulders, which is something I’m extremely proud of.  

This summer, I welcome an adventure into my life; I welcome something that when I was a young girl who first encountered chronic panic attacks and anxiety issues, I never thought I would’ve been able to do.  Today my mother asked me, “Why don’t you just stay in East Lansing for the summer?” And I answered, “Why not?” I need to welcome a challenge I’ve never before experienced.  Something that will further challenge my independence and question myself.  But that’s what we all need, a challenge.  To be pushed into a situation we’re uncomfortable with.  To journey somewhere we’ve never been, to feel emotions we’ve never before felt.

Over the past two years since my dad died, I’ve felt every emotion a person could bear.  But all the while I’ve striven to find a source of strength I didn’t know was hidden inside me.  I welcome new challenges because they’re what has made me who I am. I welcome new challenges because they’ve made me the strong, independent person I never thought I could be.

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Comfort Zones

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A few facts:

1. I have a distinct comfort zone.

2. I don’t like to step out of it.

3. Creating this blog is outside of my comfort zone. 

But that’s what it’s all about—writing, that is.  Or at least that’s how it is for me.

This past week was tough.  I felt busy, but I had fun.  I have a lot going on in my classes, and honestly, I’m a little scared I’m not going to get it done.  But it’s good at the same time.  My job is awesome.  I work at the MSU Press, which publishes books through MSU and other parts of the US.  I work in the Marketing department, as a student assistant.  I can’t explain how out of my comfort zone that is.  But you know what? It’s good, stepping outside of my bubble.  I’ve never felt more confident.

A few things also out of my comfort zone:

1. Writing a children’s book

2. Moving to Chicago

3. Showing my personal writing to others

Last night, I went to a party, and I was worried I would feel awkward.  Instead, I’ve never ever felt so confident in front of people I didn’t know (okay, with a little help from a certain drink).  I’m not so scared about my future in a big city anymore. I’m not so scared about trying to find a job in publishing.  Starting this blog is a result of my confidence. (Yes, I’d like to write a children’s book.  I plan on researching a little more about it and posting it on here.  My mother kind of gave me the idea.  I think I’ll go into more detail about that on a later post.)

The bottom line is, I think that in order to be successful, you need to be confident.  Luckily, although I’ve been through a lot in my life at a young age, I think my own confidence has surprised me.  Hurt has brought out good writing; confidence has given me the ability to share them.  Being successful means stepping outside of your comfort zone.  If you don’t, there’s nowhere to move forward.  You’re always stuck in that same bubble, and the comfort disguises itself as confidence.

Isn’t a much better feeling to feel confident in something you’re not comfortable with?

 

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